To recap briefly I was diagnosed with arthritis when I was eight years old after experiencing pain sporadically for two years. I prayed for years for healing that never came and finally gave up. Some Christians suggested this was something God was asking me to trust Him with, and this fit with the fact that I was not being healed, so I made peace with it and moved on.
Last Spring, around the time of my dramatic inner healing prayer my arthritis pain dropped off the map. I was so pain free I started forgetting to take my medications. I felt called to receive prayer again for healing and have been off any pain medications since then.
However, around the Fall my arthritis pain started coming back with a vengeance. This has confused me greatly. I apparently was not healed of arthritis completely. Were my pain meds, my active lifestyle and the warmer weather really responsible for my lack of pain? Did I misinterpret what was going on with me? If so, what is the truth?
A few weeks back I drew a proverbial line in the sand with my upcoming road-trip to Bethel. Bethel is a church that regularly sees supernatural healings and it is a place of great faith for such things. I do not want to get superstitious about place, as I believe God is everywhere and could heal me right now in So Cal, but this trip for me is a symbolic and significant step of faith on my part.
As that day has drawn closer my arthritis pain has gone off the charts. It spikes and abates at times but my lower back in particular is the worst it has ever been. I am taking pain pills like candy and there are still times where breathing, sneezing, picking things up off the floor, sitting down, standing up, and even lying down are painful. Needless to say I have not been able to work out, run or exercise for a few weeks and not being active is the worst thing for my specific kind of arthritis.
So we are coming down to the wire and I actually have “Get healed from arthritis” in my calendar at 9:00am this Saturday. I have even received a number of prophetic words from people and from God that God wants to heal me.
As I go up I am asking for a complete and supernatural healing of my arthritis. I do not want to have it go away for a time but then come back later. I want fire in my body from my head to my toe so that I know that I know that I know that this is done. 21 years of chronic pain is enough. If the testimony God has for me is like others in the Bible who were afflicted for years before being healed I want that testimony now. I want my healing to change how I pray for the healings of others and I want to experience the supernatural healing of my body not just my heart and mind.
If there is something “blocking” my healing, like resentment or some other issue, I want God to reveal that now or at my Inner Healing Prayer session I have set up the night before.
If God is not going to heal me in this life and does in fact want me to have faith in Him despite my arthritis, I am actually okay with that, but I want to know that I know that I know this is the situation. No matter what happens I will go to my deathbed believing that God supernaturally heals people, but sometimes no matter how much faith or how fervent our prayers not everyone get’s healed in this life. And God is still good.
If I am someone who is not going to experience physical healing I want Him to make that 100% abundantly clear to me. If my testimony is to proclaim God’s goodness despite my continued physical ailment that is what I will live out. I have never heard Him say this to me, but if this is truly the case, I want Him to. But again, if that is to be my testimony, I want it now and I do not want to waste time worrying or thinking more about this issue.
So friends be sending positive thoughts and prayers for me this weekend. Either way I want something to happen and to move forward putting this issue to rest so I can move forward. Either way I want to know how my arthritis and my prayers are to testify to God’s goodness and glory.
At the end of the day my soul echoes the words of Mary when she said, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be unto me according to your word” and I am really, really desperate to know what the word of the Lord is on this issue.